and it was not bad.
I long to be with my friends in UT and have a bash.
alas, I am 2,500 miles away.
I got sweet birthday messages though so I am not forgotten :)
I watched a lot of Sopranos the past 2 days.
my mom made this amazing Tuscan White bean soup.
I'll post the recipe sometime.
Went to a Christmas Eve party at Kurt's. :)
I am tempted to write a year-end review.
but it's all been pretty bad, and I don't want to re-hash it.
and I've been writing about it here & there all along.
I am scared for 2008.
2007 bit me pretty bad.
but, I am going to ITALY for spring break
and I am, as they say, stoked!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
I just came from seeing I Am Legend.
It really was upsetting to me.
When the movie starts, I was like,
Cool, Manhattan really DOES look deserted, this is going to be good.
but then it just got so real.
well, not the vampire-things, but all the deserted apartments
and scrounging for food and things people left behind.
Ok.
that was my review!
School is done.
It really was upsetting to me.
When the movie starts, I was like,
Cool, Manhattan really DOES look deserted, this is going to be good.
but then it just got so real.
well, not the vampire-things, but all the deserted apartments
and scrounging for food and things people left behind.
Ok.
that was my review!
School is done.
Monday, December 17, 2007
hewwo
I had a good weekend.
Went to downtown Albany with Morgan and her friend from school.
There was a winter festival-type thing going on.
My birthday is in .... 9 days.
sigh.
OH - Kolok Gallery is having a Closing Reception
for its Contemporary Berkshires show this Sat, Dec 22.
At 6:30, to 8:30 pm. Go! It'll be super fabulous, trust me.
Went to downtown Albany with Morgan and her friend from school.
There was a winter festival-type thing going on.
My birthday is in .... 9 days.
sigh.
OH - Kolok Gallery is having a Closing Reception
for its Contemporary Berkshires show this Sat, Dec 22.
At 6:30, to 8:30 pm. Go! It'll be super fabulous, trust me.
Friday, December 14, 2007
ergh
I am so... blah
you know that feeling?
the sky dumped 11 inches of snow on us last night.
don;t even want to talk about digging out the car.
I spent most of the day in bed bc
my body hurt so much from the wet cold.
(old injuries, whatever)
but I watched a lot of episodes of My So-Called Life
and the Bourne Supremacy.
I have a friend kinda like Rayanne.
I am going to take a hairdryer to my collage when I get home.
you know that feeling?
the sky dumped 11 inches of snow on us last night.
don;t even want to talk about digging out the car.
I spent most of the day in bed bc
my body hurt so much from the wet cold.
(old injuries, whatever)
but I watched a lot of episodes of My So-Called Life
and the Bourne Supremacy.
I have a friend kinda like Rayanne.
I am going to take a hairdryer to my collage when I get home.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
I had a good day
it's the last day of classes.
it was sooo busy, as Wednesdays are.
I turned in 3 final projects, all which I'm not sure how good of a job I did.
but the last class was fun.
we had informal presentations and I got a good reception.
I hate public speaking so this worked out well.
but I think why I'm in a good mood
is bc I've been working on my art almost non-stop the past week and a half.
and I am happy about what I'm making, how it is turning out.
I am glad to be in a good mood.
a lot has happened that has been upsetting.
Trial's been delayed again til Jan. 15.
I don't have time for this, to get out of work & school each time,
only to have it pushed back.
But I have to be there.... I'm court-ordered to be a witness.
They have the tapes of my 911 calls, all that.
but I just want to think about my art and not all the
stuff I have to do still.
it was sooo busy, as Wednesdays are.
I turned in 3 final projects, all which I'm not sure how good of a job I did.
but the last class was fun.
we had informal presentations and I got a good reception.
I hate public speaking so this worked out well.
but I think why I'm in a good mood
is bc I've been working on my art almost non-stop the past week and a half.
and I am happy about what I'm making, how it is turning out.
I am glad to be in a good mood.
a lot has happened that has been upsetting.
Trial's been delayed again til Jan. 15.
I don't have time for this, to get out of work & school each time,
only to have it pushed back.
But I have to be there.... I'm court-ordered to be a witness.
They have the tapes of my 911 calls, all that.
but I just want to think about my art and not all the
stuff I have to do still.
Monday, December 03, 2007
Pics & Video from the MySpace Show
she didn't get a shot of my stuff :(
hopefully I will have more to post soon!
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
official press release about my art
*****************************************
WINNERS OF ‘HAIRY ART’ CONTEST ANNOUNCED, WORKS TO BE DISPLAYED IN MCLA GALLERY 51
NORTH ADAMS, MA – Northern Berkshire Community Coalition (NBCC) has announced the winners of its “Hairy Chest Artwork Exhibition” contest, whose artwork will be on display in MCLA Gallery 51 beginning Thursday, Nov. 29, alongside “The MySpace Show.”
Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts (MCLA) student Jordan Pagan’s “Finally Five O’Clock,” along with “Untitled” and “Hairy Chest Art,” by local artists Erin Ko and Jaye Fox, respectively, were selected as the top three works among the 22 entries submitted. The entries initially were displayed at the 2007 Neighborhood EXPO, where those in attendance voted for their three favorites.
The three pieces will be on view at the opening reception for MCLA Gallery 51’s “The MySpace Show” on Thursday, Nov. 29, 5-7 p.m. The event is free and open to the public.
The “Hairy Chest Artwork Exhibition” came about after writer Joe Manning heard about a local man who worked at the former Strong-Hewat Mill in the 1950s. North Adams resident Carl Robare told Manning how he worked with a hairy-chested man who would remove his shirt in the heat. The man’s chest would turn the color of the blue or green dye being used in the textile factory because the wool particles would stick to him.
Manning came up with the idea of an art contest and, with the support of the NBCC, contacted MCLA Gallery 51 Manager Sean Riley, who organized the event.
“The MySpace Show” features the work of more than 40 “virtual friends” of MCLA Gallery 51’s MySpace page. The show will remain in the gallery through Jan. 27, 2008. MCLA Gallery 51 is at 51 Main St. in North Adams.
MCLA Gallery 51 is at 51 Main St., North Adams. The Gallery is open daily, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. For more information, 413-664-8718, or go to www.mcla.edu/Gallery51 or www.myspace.com/mcla_gallery51 .
WINNERS OF ‘HAIRY ART’ CONTEST ANNOUNCED, WORKS TO BE DISPLAYED IN MCLA GALLERY 51
NORTH ADAMS, MA – Northern Berkshire Community Coalition (NBCC) has announced the winners of its “Hairy Chest Artwork Exhibition” contest, whose artwork will be on display in MCLA Gallery 51 beginning Thursday, Nov. 29, alongside “The MySpace Show.”
Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts (MCLA) student Jordan Pagan’s “Finally Five O’Clock,” along with “Untitled” and “Hairy Chest Art,” by local artists Erin Ko and Jaye Fox, respectively, were selected as the top three works among the 22 entries submitted. The entries initially were displayed at the 2007 Neighborhood EXPO, where those in attendance voted for their three favorites.
The three pieces will be on view at the opening reception for MCLA Gallery 51’s “The MySpace Show” on Thursday, Nov. 29, 5-7 p.m. The event is free and open to the public.
The “Hairy Chest Artwork Exhibition” came about after writer Joe Manning heard about a local man who worked at the former Strong-Hewat Mill in the 1950s. North Adams resident Carl Robare told Manning how he worked with a hairy-chested man who would remove his shirt in the heat. The man’s chest would turn the color of the blue or green dye being used in the textile factory because the wool particles would stick to him.
Manning came up with the idea of an art contest and, with the support of the NBCC, contacted MCLA Gallery 51 Manager Sean Riley, who organized the event.
“The MySpace Show” features the work of more than 40 “virtual friends” of MCLA Gallery 51’s MySpace page. The show will remain in the gallery through Jan. 27, 2008. MCLA Gallery 51 is at 51 Main St. in North Adams.
MCLA Gallery 51 is at 51 Main St., North Adams. The Gallery is open daily, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. For more information, 413-664-8718, or go to www.mcla.edu/Gallery51 or www.myspace.com/mcla_gallery51 .
Monday, November 26, 2007
some good news!!
ok.
so the art show I was in last week was like a pre-art show.
it was in a neighborhood expo community thing
where people voted for the works they liked best
and the top 3 winners would be displayed in
MCLA Gallery 51's Myspace Show.
Guess who was in the TOP 3!!!!!
It's my collage piece.
"Finally Five O'Clock" (2007)
it's a really bad pic but I will get a better one soon.
more details to come!
so the art show I was in last week was like a pre-art show.
it was in a neighborhood expo community thing
where people voted for the works they liked best
and the top 3 winners would be displayed in
MCLA Gallery 51's Myspace Show.
Guess who was in the TOP 3!!!!!
It's my collage piece.
"Finally Five O'Clock" (2007)
it's a really bad pic but I will get a better one soon.
more details to come!
Friday, November 23, 2007
I had a weird Thanksgiving.
It ultimately ended up well, which was surprise.
We went to my mom's friends', the Smith family in Vermont who owns The Trail's End Inn .
I initially wasn't thrilled about it bc I didn't really know them and I got into a really big fight with my mom on the way up.
By the time we finally got there, I was so upset I had absolutely no appetite.
but I ate something anyway, bc it would have been rude not to and my mom would just have something else in her arsenal.
The dinner was really good, I wished I could have enjoyed it more.
Anyway, after dinner we got a tour of the Inn.
It's so beautiful and I loved all the wallpapers and beds.
We ended up in the Spa room, where my mom started talking about my back & neck injuries bc the guy who runs the spa,
is retired doctor who specializes in alternative medicine.
He asked me about where I hurt and I just started crying,
bc it is a really sensitive subject.
Plus I was still mad & upset about the fight on the way over.
I was soooo humiliated.
I'm not really a cryer,
and I won't cry in front of most people.
My mom didn't even hug me or anything. She just went on talking.
Well anyway, I was convinced into trying the stuff they do at the Spa,
which is Environmental and Lifestyle Detoxification.
He told us stories & stories of how it cured cancer and heart transplant patients.
So I was like, Why Not? I've done everything else.
But I was hesitant bc it was Thanksgiving, and I didn't want them to work.
What is it? well it's a series of things that stimulate cells to liberate waste products and absorb nutrition.
I laid down on a magnetic bed, and cold laser and infrared lights were placed over areas like my neck and back.
It doesn't hurt, you will just eventually feel warmth in your body.
It breaks up toxins & free radicals in your blood or something, which is what causes pain and unwellness.
Then I sat in a chair and had an ionizing foot bath,
which pulls the waste produce out of your body and into the water by osmosis.
You sit for 30 minutes in the bath.
Within minutes of the machine turning on, the water will start to turn red, then brown, and sometimes black.
Mine turned black.
It was all the toxins coming out!
I really did feel much better. And calmer.
It was surprising.
a lot of people do not want to do this.
I don't know why, other than they are scared. None of it hurts, or is invasive.
It's really relaxing!
There is also a special sauna that detoxes you.
I didn't go in bc I was fully dressed and didn't have shorts or a bathing suit.
Next time I will. I've never been in one.
Anyway. So I feel better.
Even if you don't stay at the Inn you can make an appointment to do it.
The Inn is pretty far up there in Vermont, like 30 mins away,
but it's not that bad in good weather.
Oh I saw Across the Universe.
It was pretty good.
It ultimately ended up well, which was surprise.
We went to my mom's friends', the Smith family in Vermont who owns The Trail's End Inn .
I initially wasn't thrilled about it bc I didn't really know them and I got into a really big fight with my mom on the way up.
By the time we finally got there, I was so upset I had absolutely no appetite.
but I ate something anyway, bc it would have been rude not to and my mom would just have something else in her arsenal.
The dinner was really good, I wished I could have enjoyed it more.
Anyway, after dinner we got a tour of the Inn.
It's so beautiful and I loved all the wallpapers and beds.
We ended up in the Spa room, where my mom started talking about my back & neck injuries bc the guy who runs the spa,
is retired doctor who specializes in alternative medicine.
He asked me about where I hurt and I just started crying,
bc it is a really sensitive subject.
Plus I was still mad & upset about the fight on the way over.
I was soooo humiliated.
I'm not really a cryer,
and I won't cry in front of most people.
My mom didn't even hug me or anything. She just went on talking.
Well anyway, I was convinced into trying the stuff they do at the Spa,
which is Environmental and Lifestyle Detoxification.
He told us stories & stories of how it cured cancer and heart transplant patients.
So I was like, Why Not? I've done everything else.
But I was hesitant bc it was Thanksgiving, and I didn't want them to work.
What is it? well it's a series of things that stimulate cells to liberate waste products and absorb nutrition.
I laid down on a magnetic bed, and cold laser and infrared lights were placed over areas like my neck and back.
It doesn't hurt, you will just eventually feel warmth in your body.
It breaks up toxins & free radicals in your blood or something, which is what causes pain and unwellness.
Then I sat in a chair and had an ionizing foot bath,
which pulls the waste produce out of your body and into the water by osmosis.
You sit for 30 minutes in the bath.
Within minutes of the machine turning on, the water will start to turn red, then brown, and sometimes black.
Mine turned black.
It was all the toxins coming out!
I really did feel much better. And calmer.
It was surprising.
a lot of people do not want to do this.
I don't know why, other than they are scared. None of it hurts, or is invasive.
It's really relaxing!
There is also a special sauna that detoxes you.
I didn't go in bc I was fully dressed and didn't have shorts or a bathing suit.
Next time I will. I've never been in one.
Anyway. So I feel better.
Even if you don't stay at the Inn you can make an appointment to do it.
The Inn is pretty far up there in Vermont, like 30 mins away,
but it's not that bad in good weather.
Oh I saw Across the Universe.
It was pretty good.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Second chances, they don't ever matter
People never change
Once a whore, you're nothing more
I'm sorry, that'll never change
And about forgiveness
I'm sorry, honey, but I passed that up
Now look this way
Well, there's a million other girls who do it just like you
Looking as innocent as possible
To get to who they want and what they like
It's easy if you do it right
Well, I refuse, I refuse, I refuse
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
I'm a Blur
He pled Not Guilty.
fu.....
Trial's set for Dec 12.
My mom & have to be there,
along with his mistress, whore.
it never ends!
if you want to decide for yourself,
scroll down & see the pictures I took of what he did.
Also, David's going to Basic....
it makes me scared!
fu.....
Trial's set for Dec 12.
My mom & have to be there,
along with his mistress, whore.
it never ends!
if you want to decide for yourself,
scroll down & see the pictures I took of what he did.
Also, David's going to Basic....
it makes me scared!
God and Death are none of my concern, I'm no philosopher.
Deep in your heart stitched the key, and only one can set me free
From the beast where I dwell and let the saints all burn in hell
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
PLAYLIST November 2007
Here are my top new songs for the semester.
My advice -- check them out, they are so, so good.
*Believe by The Bravery
*Fake It by Seether
*Spit On A Stranger by Nickel Creek (this song will amaze you!)
*Black Fingernails, Red Wine by Eskimo Joe
*Capital G by Nine Inch Nails
*Baby Girl, I'm A Blur by Say Anything
*My Moon My Man by Feist
*Berlin by The Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
*The Ocean by The Bravery
*Kingdom by Dave Gahan
*Living Is A Problem Because Everything Dies by Biffy Clyro
*Hollywoodemia by Lovehatehero
*Dig by Linda Strawberry
I love music so, so much.
AND I finally got my laptop back with the wireless internet part fixed.
Damn HP.
But I'm really happy that it's all done & fixed.
My advice -- check them out, they are so, so good.
*Believe by The Bravery
*Fake It by Seether
*Spit On A Stranger by Nickel Creek (this song will amaze you!)
*Black Fingernails, Red Wine by Eskimo Joe
*Capital G by Nine Inch Nails
*Baby Girl, I'm A Blur by Say Anything
*My Moon My Man by Feist
*Berlin by The Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
*The Ocean by The Bravery
*Kingdom by Dave Gahan
*Living Is A Problem Because Everything Dies by Biffy Clyro
*Hollywoodemia by Lovehatehero
*Dig by Linda Strawberry
I love music so, so much.
AND I finally got my laptop back with the wireless internet part fixed.
Damn HP.
But I'm really happy that it's all done & fixed.
Monday, November 12, 2007
So I am at work again....
and I will repeat: if you sign up for an online subscription: read the Terms of Service!!
anyway. just a little Public Service Announcement.
Hung out with Kurt last night.
Had dinner, talked, watched weird weird Dead Like Me.
but I forgot how much I love cable shows,
they can say and do almost anything they want.
It was really nice hanging out with him!
He gets me.
I also worked at the Gallery yesterday.
It was fairly nice out so only one person ended up coming in.
I read a bunch of books & magazine from the gallery's art library.
I heart learning about art!
I found a bunch or artists to like & renewed my love for Roy Lichtenstein.
I'm taking 18 credits next semester.
I'm kinda pretty nervous about that.
I will officially have no life because I will spend it all in class. or work.
well... oh well!
I'm going to try to scan my most recent art.
I'm really proud of it!
Here is a really bad photo I took with my cellphone.
and I will repeat: if you sign up for an online subscription: read the Terms of Service!!
anyway. just a little Public Service Announcement.
Hung out with Kurt last night.
Had dinner, talked, watched weird weird Dead Like Me.
but I forgot how much I love cable shows,
they can say and do almost anything they want.
It was really nice hanging out with him!
He gets me.
I also worked at the Gallery yesterday.
It was fairly nice out so only one person ended up coming in.
I read a bunch of books & magazine from the gallery's art library.
I heart learning about art!
I found a bunch or artists to like & renewed my love for Roy Lichtenstein.
I'm taking 18 credits next semester.
I'm kinda pretty nervous about that.
I will officially have no life because I will spend it all in class. or work.
well... oh well!
I'm going to try to scan my most recent art.
I'm really proud of it!
Here is a really bad photo I took with my cellphone.
Friday, November 09, 2007
Machinehead
Breathe in breathe out
Tied to a wheel fingers got to feel
Bleeding through a tourniquet smile
I spin on a whim slide to the right
I felt you like electric light
For our love
For our fear
For our rise against the years and years and years
Got a machinehead better than the rest
Green to red machinehead
I walk from my machine
I walk from my machine
Deaf dumb and thirty
Starting to deserve this
Leaning on my conscience wall
Blood is like wine
Unconscious all the time
If I had it all again
I'd change it all
Perfect song.
I got a position as Photographer's Assistant at the Clark.
I start tomorrow.... for Family Day.
ergh.... rich children & their parents.
But I will be around Monets & Renoirs & Degas!!!
That's always such a highlight!!! :)
Some pics from last month... before.
In the parade.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
No Control
This past year.... though it is not over yet... has been a year of No Control.
My life, and the lives of people I love, have been dictated and forever changed by the selfish and cruel actions of others - drunk drivers, crack cocaine addicts, adulterers, and things like cancer.
I am livid.
I can understand when my life doesn't go my way when I do things make it that way. But this... this is not caused but anything that I did or remotely enougraged or wanted. I know that life happens.... but this is absurd.
Stan Gardner... You are exactly where you never wanted to be again. You will be in Jail for a long time. And I hope withdrawal is a bitch. Someday your son will realize all that you have done to our family. You have ruined everything. I really have no words for you.... you are living out your worst nightmare already.
Sasha Piatczyc.... You fucking whore. You are an adulterer as well, even if you are not married. I hope you are proud of yourself. I hope you are proud of your man. I would say this to your face but you are too cowardly to get within 10 feet of me. And you know what? You should have nothing to say to me.
Roman Furman, you are a murderer. A convicted one at that, now. You killed such a vibrant, loving person who was loved by everyone. You put out a true light in the world.
And cancer took away my grandfather, whom I loved so much in February. He was just everything to our family. It also took a beloved MCLA professor and my boss in September.
I understand cancer happens. But driving drunk, doing crack for a year, having affairs and breaking into my house are choices.
This is not what they call "life."
My life, and the lives of people I love, have been dictated and forever changed by the selfish and cruel actions of others - drunk drivers, crack cocaine addicts, adulterers, and things like cancer.
I am livid.
I can understand when my life doesn't go my way when I do things make it that way. But this... this is not caused but anything that I did or remotely enougraged or wanted. I know that life happens.... but this is absurd.
Stan Gardner... You are exactly where you never wanted to be again. You will be in Jail for a long time. And I hope withdrawal is a bitch. Someday your son will realize all that you have done to our family. You have ruined everything. I really have no words for you.... you are living out your worst nightmare already.
Sasha Piatczyc.... You fucking whore. You are an adulterer as well, even if you are not married. I hope you are proud of yourself. I hope you are proud of your man. I would say this to your face but you are too cowardly to get within 10 feet of me. And you know what? You should have nothing to say to me.
Roman Furman, you are a murderer. A convicted one at that, now. You killed such a vibrant, loving person who was loved by everyone. You put out a true light in the world.
And cancer took away my grandfather, whom I loved so much in February. He was just everything to our family. It also took a beloved MCLA professor and my boss in September.
I understand cancer happens. But driving drunk, doing crack for a year, having affairs and breaking into my house are choices.
This is not what they call "life."
Hey!
I got the right of way, that's all I got to say
Jesus gone just a flame and a bomb now how do you explode unstable
Big suit with a brief case I'm holding contracts stating how your labeled
Holding on to a phone on hold while I'm told to wait for the next operator
I wanna taste life uncontrolled, on no here I go I hope to see you later
This is your station under no control, broadcasting for you to let go
This is your station under no control, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up enjoy the show
Hey!
I got the right of way, that's all you got to say
This is your station under no control, broadcasting for you to let go
This is your station under no control, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up enjoy the show
This is your station under no control, broadcasting for you to let go
This is your station under no control, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up enjoy the show
Everything that I would like to see, broadcast this emergency
Everything that I would like to see, broadcast this emergency
Emergency, emergency, emergency,
Monday, September 10, 2007
Gone Away
This is for you, Joe. I can't say it any better.
Gone Away The Offspring
Maybe in another life
I could find you there
Pulled away before your time
I can't deal, it's so unfair
And it feels, and it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it feels, yeah it feels like
The world has grown cold
Now that you've gone away
Leaving flowers on your grave
To show that I still care
But black roses and Hail Mary's
Can't bring back what's taken from me
I reach to the sky
And call out your name
And if I could trade
I would
And it feels, and it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it stings, yeah it stings now
The world is so cold
Now that you've gone away
Gone away, gone away, yeah yeah yeah...
I reach to the sky
And call out your name
Oh please let me trade
I would
And it feels, and it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it feels, yeah it feels like
The world has grown cold
Now that you've gone away
Thursday, September 06, 2007
North Adams man killed in N.Y. accident
By the Staten Island Advance and Transcript staff
Article Launched: 09/05/2007 12:24:05 PM EDT
Wednesday, September 5
STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. — A suspected drunken driver going the wrong way on the West Shore Expressway killed Joseph Conway of North Adams, Mass., a long-time staffer for the Gov. George Pataki administration who grew up on Staten Island and had returned home for a Labor Day weekend family reunion.
Conway, 39, was driving back from Brooklyn to his parents' home in Prince's Bay early Monday morning with his business partner, Kurt Kolok of North Adams, in the passenger seat, when a vehicle driven by Roman Furman of Brooklyn slammed into his Volvo, crushing the driver's side.
Police said Conway was killed by the impact, and Kolok, with whom he owned the Kolok Gallery in North Adams, broke his wrist and fingers, injured his knee and suffered internal injuries. Kolok was taken to Staten Island University Hospital in Ocean Breeze.
Conway's grief-stricken parents said they're angry their loved one — who didn't smoke, didn't drink and lived a healthy life — was struck down by an alleged drunken driver who escaped nearly unscathed and might ultimately go free.
"My heart is very bitter," said his mother, Patricia Conway, worried that Furman may get bail.
"It's not fair. I really don't know how I'm going to be able to keep going on," she said. "They say that God watches over babies and drunks. Well, God's got his priorities wrong."
Another son, Gary, a city police officer who responded to the World Trade Center after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, is now suffering from health problems, the parents said.
Police said Furman was driving north on the southbound side of the highway, near Edward Curry Avenue, when his vehicle hit a Cadillac Escalade, glanced off that vehicle and slammed into Conway's car shortly after 1:30 a.m.
"They were laughing and having a good time, talking about the evening they had, and suddenly there was a flash of light, and it was over," said Patricia Conway, who is a member of the South Shore's Community Board 3. She said she had spoken after the crash with Kolok.
Conway was pronounced dead at Staten Island University Hospital, Prince's Bay.
Furman, who was charged with driving under the influence, was taken to Richmond University Medical Center, West Brighton.
"I feel he should be punished for what he did," said Conway's father, Joseph Sr., a retired NYPD detective. "I don't feel the punishment would fit the crime."
Firefighters worked for about 45 minutes, using two jaws-of-life trying to get Conway out of the vehicle. New Jersey-bound traffic was shut down before the South Avenue exit for over an hour. Motorists were out of their vehicles making phone calls and mulling about while police investigated the crash. Police said no one in the Escalade was injured.
Conway, who was born in Brooklyn and raised in Prince's Bay, was on the Island for a family reunion. He had recently taken up international law, and opened the Kolok Gallery, his family said.
Joseph Conway Sr. said he picked his son up at Newark Liberty International Airport on Friday night, where he had arrived after a trip to London. They went to Brooklyn Sunday night to meet prospective gallery clients and were returning to Prince's Bay when Furman — who may have been traveling the wrong way on the expressway since as far back as the Arden Avenue exit, a mile and a half away, Conway's father said — hit them.
Conway, a graduate of Monsignor Farrell High School, Fordham University and New York Law School, worked for state Attorney General Dennis Vacco's transition team in 1992. He later joined Pataki's administration, working first for the state Consumer Protection Agency, then the governor's general staff, before becoming a staff lawyer with the Child Services Administration. While working for the state, he helped draft several pieces of legislation, including the state's puppy lemon law, and worked on the state's Child Health Plus plan, a health insurance plan for uninsured children.
Conway left state work about seven months before Pataki's third term ended in 2006. He started practicing international law and opened the art gallery with Kolok.
"He was a dedicated public servant, someone who had a love for public service," said City Councilman Vincent Ignizio (R-South Shore).
Ignizio said he met Conway several times and works closely with his mother, who is active in Community Board 3.
"He was a very smart man, and what a great family — to suffer this loss, it's awful," Ignizio said. "My heart breaks for the family."
Conway's wake will be held today and Thursday, from 2 to 5 p.m. and 7 to 9 p.m., at Bedell-Pizzo Funeral Home in Tottenville. A funeral Mass is planned for 10 a.m. at St. Joseph's R.C. Church in Rossville, with cremation to follow.
Members of the art community in North Adams said they were shocked to learn the news of Conway's death late Tuesday and alerted the Transcript, which will do a follow-up story for Thursday's paper and report on any memorial services planned locally.
Contributed by John Annese, Michelle Maskaly and Chad Rachman of the Staten Island Advance and used with permission, with minor additions by North Adams Transcript staff.
By the Staten Island Advance and Transcript staff
Article Launched: 09/05/2007 12:24:05 PM EDT
Wednesday, September 5
STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. — A suspected drunken driver going the wrong way on the West Shore Expressway killed Joseph Conway of North Adams, Mass., a long-time staffer for the Gov. George Pataki administration who grew up on Staten Island and had returned home for a Labor Day weekend family reunion.
Conway, 39, was driving back from Brooklyn to his parents' home in Prince's Bay early Monday morning with his business partner, Kurt Kolok of North Adams, in the passenger seat, when a vehicle driven by Roman Furman of Brooklyn slammed into his Volvo, crushing the driver's side.
Police said Conway was killed by the impact, and Kolok, with whom he owned the Kolok Gallery in North Adams, broke his wrist and fingers, injured his knee and suffered internal injuries. Kolok was taken to Staten Island University Hospital in Ocean Breeze.
Conway's grief-stricken parents said they're angry their loved one — who didn't smoke, didn't drink and lived a healthy life — was struck down by an alleged drunken driver who escaped nearly unscathed and might ultimately go free.
"My heart is very bitter," said his mother, Patricia Conway, worried that Furman may get bail.
"It's not fair. I really don't know how I'm going to be able to keep going on," she said. "They say that God watches over babies and drunks. Well, God's got his priorities wrong."
Another son, Gary, a city police officer who responded to the World Trade Center after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, is now suffering from health problems, the parents said.
Police said Furman was driving north on the southbound side of the highway, near Edward Curry Avenue, when his vehicle hit a Cadillac Escalade, glanced off that vehicle and slammed into Conway's car shortly after 1:30 a.m.
"They were laughing and having a good time, talking about the evening they had, and suddenly there was a flash of light, and it was over," said Patricia Conway, who is a member of the South Shore's Community Board 3. She said she had spoken after the crash with Kolok.
Conway was pronounced dead at Staten Island University Hospital, Prince's Bay.
Furman, who was charged with driving under the influence, was taken to Richmond University Medical Center, West Brighton.
"I feel he should be punished for what he did," said Conway's father, Joseph Sr., a retired NYPD detective. "I don't feel the punishment would fit the crime."
Firefighters worked for about 45 minutes, using two jaws-of-life trying to get Conway out of the vehicle. New Jersey-bound traffic was shut down before the South Avenue exit for over an hour. Motorists were out of their vehicles making phone calls and mulling about while police investigated the crash. Police said no one in the Escalade was injured.
Conway, who was born in Brooklyn and raised in Prince's Bay, was on the Island for a family reunion. He had recently taken up international law, and opened the Kolok Gallery, his family said.
Joseph Conway Sr. said he picked his son up at Newark Liberty International Airport on Friday night, where he had arrived after a trip to London. They went to Brooklyn Sunday night to meet prospective gallery clients and were returning to Prince's Bay when Furman — who may have been traveling the wrong way on the expressway since as far back as the Arden Avenue exit, a mile and a half away, Conway's father said — hit them.
Conway, a graduate of Monsignor Farrell High School, Fordham University and New York Law School, worked for state Attorney General Dennis Vacco's transition team in 1992. He later joined Pataki's administration, working first for the state Consumer Protection Agency, then the governor's general staff, before becoming a staff lawyer with the Child Services Administration. While working for the state, he helped draft several pieces of legislation, including the state's puppy lemon law, and worked on the state's Child Health Plus plan, a health insurance plan for uninsured children.
Conway left state work about seven months before Pataki's third term ended in 2006. He started practicing international law and opened the art gallery with Kolok.
"He was a dedicated public servant, someone who had a love for public service," said City Councilman Vincent Ignizio (R-South Shore).
Ignizio said he met Conway several times and works closely with his mother, who is active in Community Board 3.
"He was a very smart man, and what a great family — to suffer this loss, it's awful," Ignizio said. "My heart breaks for the family."
Conway's wake will be held today and Thursday, from 2 to 5 p.m. and 7 to 9 p.m., at Bedell-Pizzo Funeral Home in Tottenville. A funeral Mass is planned for 10 a.m. at St. Joseph's R.C. Church in Rossville, with cremation to follow.
Members of the art community in North Adams said they were shocked to learn the news of Conway's death late Tuesday and alerted the Transcript, which will do a follow-up story for Thursday's paper and report on any memorial services planned locally.
Contributed by John Annese, Michelle Maskaly and Chad Rachman of the Staten Island Advance and used with permission, with minor additions by North Adams Transcript staff.
Friday, August 17, 2007
I am not your señorita.
PA:
Kolok Gallery is having its Opening Reception for its
2007 Juried Exhibition
this Saturday, August 18, 5:30 - 8 pm.
It's early enough that everyone should be able to go!
and yes, I mean you.
Everyone at the Gallery, including me, worked really hard on it.
It really needs to be September.
It's taking forever.
Actually it needs to be 2008.
2007 has not been good to me.
I had such hope... I thought 2006 was bad.
but 2007 is worse bc it is happening now.
you what is giving me simple joy though?
BB8.
don't judge me.
HA.
I laugh at myself.
when I don't feel like raging around the house
bc my wireless card doesn't WORK
and I have to reinstall my operating system
and my cell phone charger is shot
and siblings SUCK
and no one will leave me alone
and I have no peace.
I met a guy who was writing an opera yesterday.
I don't know why he told me about it.
But was enjoyable to hear about.
And I will probably never see it bc I have no idea who he is
and that is sad....
Kolok Gallery is having its Opening Reception for its
2007 Juried Exhibition
this Saturday, August 18, 5:30 - 8 pm.
It's early enough that everyone should be able to go!
and yes, I mean you.
Everyone at the Gallery, including me, worked really hard on it.
oh my tongue's the only muscle on my body
that works harder than my heart.
It really needs to be September.
It's taking forever.
Actually it needs to be 2008.
2007 has not been good to me.
I had such hope... I thought 2006 was bad.
but 2007 is worse bc it is happening now.
we're concentrating on falling apart.
you what is giving me simple joy though?
BB8.
don't judge me.
HA.
I laugh at myself.
when I don't feel like raging around the house
bc my wireless card doesn't WORK
and I have to reinstall my operating system
and my cell phone charger is shot
and siblings SUCK
and no one will leave me alone
and I have no peace.
I met a guy who was writing an opera yesterday.
I don't know why he told me about it.
But was enjoyable to hear about.
And I will probably never see it bc I have no idea who he is
and that is sad....
Oh, we're so c-c-c-c-c-controversial.
oh my tongue's the only muscle on my body
that works harder than my heart.
and its all from watching tv,
and from speeding up my breathing.
wouldnt stop if I could.
oh it hurts to be this good.
you're holding on to your grudge.
oh it hurts to always have to be honest
with the one that you love.
oh, so let it go..
we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, I just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe.
we're concentrating on falling apart.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
You know what?
If you were smart, never sign up for an online subscription.
Just don't.
I work for one of these companies, and it's a bitch to deal with the 5,000 unhappy customers.
........And WOW. Things are not getting better.
And apparently I am not allowed to talk to my best friend about it, either.
My parents found out and now they are super pissed.
Oh well.
I mean, I'm going to talk to my friends when something is wrong.
She could tell by my voice that something was up when she called.
And I'm still really heartsick for my BFFs/Phis in Cedar.
I could fall asleep for 1,000 years.
If you were smart, never sign up for an online subscription.
Just don't.
I work for one of these companies, and it's a bitch to deal with the 5,000 unhappy customers.
........And WOW. Things are not getting better.
And apparently I am not allowed to talk to my best friend about it, either.
My parents found out and now they are super pissed.
Oh well.
I mean, I'm going to talk to my friends when something is wrong.
She could tell by my voice that something was up when she called.
And I'm still really heartsick for my BFFs/Phis in Cedar.
I could fall asleep for 1,000 years.
Monday, August 06, 2007
In spite of my rage...
Time to write an actual entry instead of just posting song lyrics.
Although
Those lyrics that I have been posting
have been absolutely perfect in what I wanted to say.
Just been working 2 jobs everyday....
I hate it when people ask me what I've been up to
because I don't really have anything to tell them.
Working for Eric, as usual, has been interesting.
His giant blue robot is now going to a museum in
North Carolina and we had to take it apart
to get it out of the studio.
"Like the boat in the basement," he says.
it was a bitch do, ugh, but oh well.
made it in the the paper.
The month of July has been really, really difficult.
I've just been sick of everything.
Hating everything.
I'm glad it's over.
I can only hope August will be better.
A few things that are scheduled to happen
will improve things for sure.
My Chanel sunglasses help a lot, though.
Yes, they are real Chanel.
Harry Potter 7 was beautiful, p.s.
Although
Those lyrics that I have been posting
have been absolutely perfect in what I wanted to say.
Just been working 2 jobs everyday....
I hate it when people ask me what I've been up to
because I don't really have anything to tell them.
Working for Eric, as usual, has been interesting.
His giant blue robot is now going to a museum in
North Carolina and we had to take it apart
to get it out of the studio.
"Like the boat in the basement," he says.
it was a bitch do, ugh, but oh well.
made it in the the paper.
The month of July has been really, really difficult.
I've just been sick of everything.
Hating everything.
I'm glad it's over.
I can only hope August will be better.
A few things that are scheduled to happen
will improve things for sure.
My Chanel sunglasses help a lot, though.
Yes, they are real Chanel.
Harry Potter 7 was beautiful, p.s.
The world is a vampire, sent to drain
Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames
And what do I get, for my pain?
Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game
Even though I know - I suppose I'll show
All my cool and cold - like old job
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Friday, July 27, 2007
I'm a Fake
Look at me.
Can you tell,
By the way I move and do my hair?
Do you think that it's me,
Or is it not me?
I don't even care.
I'm alive, I don't smell.
I'm the cleanest I have ever been.
Do I drink?
Do I date?
I've got perfect placements.
All my ink satisfied,
In your eyes.
I'm the biggest fan that I've got right now.
I made sure that I look how I wanted to look.
The people around me,
The people surround me.
I feel big, I feel tall, I feel dry.
Dry.
Just look at me, look at me now.
I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm fake, I'm fake.
My stomach hurts now,
And all tied off in lace.
I pray, I beg, for anything to hit me in the face.
And this sickness isn't me.
I pray to fall from grace.
The last thing I see is feeling.
And I'm telling you I'm a fake.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
ummmmmmmm
why did I start this
I don't remember
but since I'm here
We got a new kitten
she's just adorable
but bops around like she's on crack
You know what?
WHY do people stare at me on the street?
people actually stick their heads out of the window for a better look.
What is wrong with me,
did I forget to put on a shirt or something?
:/
why did I start this
I don't remember
but since I'm here
We got a new kitten
she's just adorable
but bops around like she's on crack
You know what?
WHY do people stare at me on the street?
people actually stick their heads out of the window for a better look.
What is wrong with me,
did I forget to put on a shirt or something?
:/
"I Think I'm Paranoid"
You can look, but you can't touch
I don't think I like you much
Heaven knows what a girl can do
Heaven knows what you've got to prove
I think I'm paranoid
And complicated
I think I'm paranoid
Manipulate it
Bend me, break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you
Bend me, break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you
I fall down just to give you a thrill
Prop me up with another pill
If I should fail, if I should fold
I nailed my faith to the sticking pole
I think I'm paranoid
Manipulate it
I think I'm paranoid
And complicated
Paranoid
I think I'm paranoid
Steal me, deal me, anyway you heal me
Maim me, tame me, you can never change me
Love me, like me, come ahead and fight me
Please me, tease me, go ahead and leave me
Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
As long as I want you baby it's all right
Monday, July 23, 2007
the new USED video!!!
omg....
Brilliant.
I heard this song is about Gerard Way.
What a burn.
I hate MCR too.
I wish I was in this video.
I'm sick in the head.
Brilliant.
I heard this song is about Gerard Way.
What a burn.
I hate MCR too.
I wish I was in this video.
I'm sick in the head.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Death Of Seasons
"Death Of Seasons"
AFI
Of late, it's harder just to go outside
To leave this dead space with hatred, so alive
Writhing with sickness, thrown into banality, I decay
Killed by the weakness, but forced to return, turn it off
I watch the stars as they fall from the sky
I held a fallen star and it wept for me, dying
I feel the fallen stars encircle me, now as they cry
Out there so quickly grows malignant tribes
Posthuman extinction excels unrecognized
Feeling surrounded, so bored with mortality, I decay
All of this hatred is fucking real, turn it on... yeah
I watch the stars as they fall from the sky
I held a fallen star and it wept for me, dying
I feel the fallen stars encircle me, now as they cry
It won't be all right despite what they say
Just watch the stars tonight as they, as they disappear, disintegrate
And I disintegrate 'cause this hate is fucking real
And I hope to shade the world as stars go out and I disintegrate
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
wheel in the sky
I feel so off.
my hair is bad, though nothing is wrong.
my face is bad.
my whole body is wrong.
it is so wretched.
here are some pictures.
^the exhibition space in rough form. That's "Laydon I" in the front.
^My corner where I work now.
^Inside the Dark Ride.
^more Dark Ride. all sculptures by Eric Rudd.
my hair is bad, though nothing is wrong.
my face is bad.
my whole body is wrong.
it is so wretched.
here are some pictures.
^the exhibition space in rough form. That's "Laydon I" in the front.
^My corner where I work now.
^Inside the Dark Ride.
^more Dark Ride. all sculptures by Eric Rudd.
Friday, July 13, 2007
denial
I smashed my hand yesterday.
well, it got smashed.
at Eric's, unloading one of the robot heads.
there's a bruise on top of the knuckle
and on the otherside, the underside, on my palm,
a matching bruise, that hurts like hell.
I don't think it's broken, bc I can move my fingers
but sometimes it cracks.
and the bruise on the top is black.
kinda.
guess we'll see.
it looks kinda cool.
so anyway, the robot part of the piece is finally running.
the physics boys attached it to the tail I've been working on for a month
and ran it around the space for about 45 minutes.
it was exciting.
of course we all saw more work that needed to be done
but it was progress!
going to NYC in about 10 days to visit some friends!
so excited.
well, it got smashed.
at Eric's, unloading one of the robot heads.
there's a bruise on top of the knuckle
and on the otherside, the underside, on my palm,
a matching bruise, that hurts like hell.
I don't think it's broken, bc I can move my fingers
but sometimes it cracks.
and the bruise on the top is black.
kinda.
guess we'll see.
it looks kinda cool.
so anyway, the robot part of the piece is finally running.
the physics boys attached it to the tail I've been working on for a month
and ran it around the space for about 45 minutes.
it was exciting.
of course we all saw more work that needed to be done
but it was progress!
going to NYC in about 10 days to visit some friends!
so excited.
Monday, July 09, 2007
evening
so.
I guess I started this with vaguely having something to say.
I forgot my headphones in my car
and the guy next to me
is waxing philosophic with customers
over the phone
again
and again
I can hardly take it.
I hate to be a bitch and tell him to shut up
yet again
but my head might crack open
Saturday was so nice
went out with the always lovely KK
dinner at a pretty good Mexican place
then saw Evening
that smart chick flick with
the all-star cast
it didn't live up to its full potential, sadly
but still was good.
I love Mondays.
obv. something is wrong with me.
but there's just something about
the promise and potential a full 7 days holds.
ok, I guess that was me
waxing philosophical?
at least you having the option
of clicking out of this if you hated it.
omg I had to work Sat for Eric
while he was hosting a large group of old ladies
from upper New Jersey on a museum tour.
it was a mess but they ended up loving him
one of the old ladies
kept grabbing my wrist and calling me
"Dear One" ha ha it was cute.
blah when can I run out to my car???
I guess I started this with vaguely having something to say.
I forgot my headphones in my car
and the guy next to me
is waxing philosophic with customers
over the phone
again
and again
I can hardly take it.
I hate to be a bitch and tell him to shut up
yet again
but my head might crack open
Saturday was so nice
went out with the always lovely KK
dinner at a pretty good Mexican place
then saw Evening
that smart chick flick with
the all-star cast
it didn't live up to its full potential, sadly
but still was good.
I love Mondays.
obv. something is wrong with me.
but there's just something about
the promise and potential a full 7 days holds.
ok, I guess that was me
waxing philosophical?
at least you having the option
of clicking out of this if you hated it.
omg I had to work Sat for Eric
while he was hosting a large group of old ladies
from upper New Jersey on a museum tour.
it was a mess but they ended up loving him
one of the old ladies
kept grabbing my wrist and calling me
"Dear One" ha ha it was cute.
blah when can I run out to my car???
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
the smashing pumpkins
I just saw the video for the new Smashing Pumpkins single.
it was wretched.
I heard the single a few months ago
and it sounded like generic SP nothingness,
with Billy Corgan wailing on top of it.
ok, that's fine, whatever.... but the video completely killed
whatever indifference I had felt about it.
Now I hate it.
First of all, it's not the real Smashing Pumpkins anymore.
they broke up years ago.
It's just Billy, James and 2 random-ass people he picked up
off the street to fill in the empty spaces.
SP hasn't had a real hit in 10 years,
so stop trying.
Everyone is either shaking their heads in pity
or laughing at you.
Your music sucks, it's not the same.
Now, if you managed to get all 4 original band members
back together, that would be something.
But, that will probably never happen, so.... stop.
This whole thing is a waste.
it was wretched.
I heard the single a few months ago
and it sounded like generic SP nothingness,
with Billy Corgan wailing on top of it.
ok, that's fine, whatever.... but the video completely killed
whatever indifference I had felt about it.
Now I hate it.
First of all, it's not the real Smashing Pumpkins anymore.
they broke up years ago.
It's just Billy, James and 2 random-ass people he picked up
off the street to fill in the empty spaces.
SP hasn't had a real hit in 10 years,
so stop trying.
Everyone is either shaking their heads in pity
or laughing at you.
Your music sucks, it's not the same.
Now, if you managed to get all 4 original band members
back together, that would be something.
But, that will probably never happen, so.... stop.
This whole thing is a waste.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Friday, June 29, 2007
I should be working.
oh man.
life is good, and not so good,
at the same time.
well life isn't great, but it's positive.
I'm really starting to enjoy working on the robot skins.
My business class is over.
So glad.
I originally started this post to bitch
but the optimist in me is taking over.
but, I do have a few bones to pick with the universe.
First off, for the past week, the town has been crawling
with cops and staties.
WTF>>>?
Is there a drug bust going on, or do they have nothing better to do?
Seriously, get on with it, whatever it is.
Also, in the same vein,
I have had to pull over about 8 times for ambulances.
What is going on?
Why are people getting hurt/sick all in the same week?
at the risk of sounding like a heartless bitch,
give it a rest.
take care of yourself.
And the last thing.
I was on my way to work this morning.
I stopped at the cafe for a chai and had to wait extra long
for a mother and her child in front of me.
that's annoying, but I can deal.
A mother simpering over her child... whatever.
but what got me was...
they were wearing matching khaki baseball caps
and practically the same outfit.
And she looked like she hadn't showered in about 4 days.
Come on people, just because you have a child,
it doesn't mean you get to/have to let yourself go!!!
I know my mother never went out of the house
looking like a scrub.
Neither did my grandmother.
Don't you watch all these American whitetrash makeover shows
that take 43 year old mothers that
"forget who they are bc they dedicated themselves to ther kids"
and they throw them in a spa
and then make them over
and give them a $5,000 new wardrobe????
Do you really want that to be you?
I mean, how humiliating!
the shows always show the "before and after" picture
where everyone knows that the "before" picture
is how you really looked for 15 years.
How hard is it to take a 5 minute shower to wash your hair?
I'm not a mom, but I do know a lot about it.
So, I do have a leg to stand on.
ok, rant over.
life is good, and not so good,
at the same time.
well life isn't great, but it's positive.
I'm really starting to enjoy working on the robot skins.
My business class is over.
So glad.
I originally started this post to bitch
but the optimist in me is taking over.
but, I do have a few bones to pick with the universe.
First off, for the past week, the town has been crawling
with cops and staties.
WTF>>>?
Is there a drug bust going on, or do they have nothing better to do?
Seriously, get on with it, whatever it is.
Also, in the same vein,
I have had to pull over about 8 times for ambulances.
What is going on?
Why are people getting hurt/sick all in the same week?
at the risk of sounding like a heartless bitch,
give it a rest.
take care of yourself.
And the last thing.
I was on my way to work this morning.
I stopped at the cafe for a chai and had to wait extra long
for a mother and her child in front of me.
that's annoying, but I can deal.
A mother simpering over her child... whatever.
but what got me was...
they were wearing matching khaki baseball caps
and practically the same outfit.
And she looked like she hadn't showered in about 4 days.
Come on people, just because you have a child,
it doesn't mean you get to/have to let yourself go!!!
I know my mother never went out of the house
looking like a scrub.
Neither did my grandmother.
Don't you watch all these American whitetrash makeover shows
that take 43 year old mothers that
"forget who they are bc they dedicated themselves to ther kids"
and they throw them in a spa
and then make them over
and give them a $5,000 new wardrobe????
Do you really want that to be you?
I mean, how humiliating!
the shows always show the "before and after" picture
where everyone knows that the "before" picture
is how you really looked for 15 years.
How hard is it to take a 5 minute shower to wash your hair?
I'm not a mom, but I do know a lot about it.
So, I do have a leg to stand on.
ok, rant over.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
wow
I just found out something about one artist from another.
rather... as they say.... juicy.
I was surprised.
rather... as they say.... juicy.
I was surprised.
Monday, June 25, 2007
excellent opening reception Sat.
Pushing Light reception at Kolok Gallery was so, so good.
I finally met the three artists,
Lana Z Caplan, Garrison Beau Scott, and Tricia Zigmund.
It was fun.
They are nice. And they weren't Artistes.
you know, stuck on themselves. They were cool.
I mean, I didn't expect them to be, but you never know.
I've had lesser-known artists totally be rude and condescending to me.
talked to them for a while.
when Kurt introduced me, they were like,
"you did such a great job! the show looks wonderful!"
if I blushed, I would have.
I wasn't able to hang this show, so I was embarrassed.
but, I have been in contact with all of them for months
and done a lot of work other wise.
you know.
it was nice!!!
the show is hung so beautifully.
Kurt really has an eye.
If you haven't seen it, it's open til July 16.
You'll be glad you went.
having system errors at work.
ergh.
I finally met the three artists,
Lana Z Caplan, Garrison Beau Scott, and Tricia Zigmund.
It was fun.
They are nice. And they weren't Artistes.
you know, stuck on themselves. They were cool.
I mean, I didn't expect them to be, but you never know.
I've had lesser-known artists totally be rude and condescending to me.
talked to them for a while.
when Kurt introduced me, they were like,
"you did such a great job! the show looks wonderful!"
if I blushed, I would have.
I wasn't able to hang this show, so I was embarrassed.
but, I have been in contact with all of them for months
and done a lot of work other wise.
you know.
it was nice!!!
the show is hung so beautifully.
Kurt really has an eye.
If you haven't seen it, it's open til July 16.
You'll be glad you went.
having system errors at work.
ergh.
Friday, June 22, 2007
summer shudder
my gallery's having an opening tomorrow.
it'll be good.
photography can be lame.
but these photographers are really artists.
I forgot the summer wretchedness.
I don't really know what I think.
summer shudder.
started putting the skin on the robot frame.
looks cool.
Shot with Unknown Sensor.
I just want to drive.
it'll be good.
photography can be lame.
but these photographers are really artists.
I forgot the summer wretchedness.
I don't really know what I think.
summer shudder.
started putting the skin on the robot frame.
looks cool.
Shot with Unknown Sensor.
I just want to drive.
I want someone that won't talk back
And a job, job that gives me slack
And a car, car that won't break down
In the heat of ...
I want to go, go without a map
Far away, away, I won't get trapped
By the sound, a town, the sun beats down
In the heat of ...
One more holiday
I will not celebrate
I'm almost desperate
Cause I'm down, I'm down, I'm so beat down
This city's killing me
I want, I want, I want everything
This city's killing me
In the heat of ...
Thursday, June 21, 2007
"The Great Disappointment" AFI
I can remember a place I used to go
Chrysanthemums of white, they seemed so beautiful
I can remember, I searched for the amaranth
I'd shut my eyes... to see
Oh, how I smiled then, so near the cherished ones
I knew they would appear... saw not a single one
Oh, how I smiled then, waiting so patiently
I'd make a wish... and bleed
While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away
I can remember... dreamt them so vividly
Soft creatures draped in white, light kisses gracing me
I can remember when I first realized
Dreams were the only place to see them
While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away
Hope was wasting away
Faith was wasting away
I was wasting away
I never, never wanted this
I always wanted to believe
I never, never wanted this
How could I have become?
I never, never wanted this
But from the start I'd been deceived
I never, never wanted this
How could I have become?
I never, never wanted this
I always wanted to believe
I never, never wanted this
I never, never wanted this
But from the start I'd been deceived
I never, never wanted this
Inside a crumbling effigy
But you promised
So dies all innocence
But you promised me
While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away
Hope was wasting away
Faith was wasting away
I was wasting away
I can remember a place I used to go
Chrysanthemums of white, they seemed so beautiful
I can remember, I searched for the amaranth
I'd shut my eyes... to see
Oh, how I smiled then, so near the cherished ones
I knew they would appear... saw not a single one
Oh, how I smiled then, waiting so patiently
I'd make a wish... and bleed
While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away
I can remember... dreamt them so vividly
Soft creatures draped in white, light kisses gracing me
I can remember when I first realized
Dreams were the only place to see them
While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away
Hope was wasting away
Faith was wasting away
I was wasting away
I never, never wanted this
I always wanted to believe
I never, never wanted this
How could I have become?
I never, never wanted this
But from the start I'd been deceived
I never, never wanted this
How could I have become?
I never, never wanted this
I always wanted to believe
I never, never wanted this
I never, never wanted this
But from the start I'd been deceived
I never, never wanted this
Inside a crumbling effigy
But you promised
So dies all innocence
But you promised me
While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away
Hope was wasting away
Faith was wasting away
I was wasting away
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Robot Mansion
so I've been working w. Eric for a little while now.
making the skin for his robots.
it's hard.
it smell bad (silicone)
it hurts (cutting, screwing nuts and bolts)
it's hot and there's no air.
it's pretty cool.
pictures.
http://suu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2002711&l=f885b&id=177400459
Tomorrow, we (I) will be putting the skins on the frames.
it's going to look amazing.
I love working at the CAC.
Being there.
Eric is nice to me.
He tells me about stuff.
I like hearing about it.
In other news....
working for MCLA.
that's going ok.
I have to contact a lot of students I don't know.
So, if you are reading this, and you hear from me, that's why.
my hands ache from the damn caulking gun.
get to use to again tomorrow.
I think we're doing something with building mountains tomorrow.
New show this Sat. at Kolok Gallery.
PUSHING LIGHT.
go.
making the skin for his robots.
it's hard.
it smell bad (silicone)
it hurts (cutting, screwing nuts and bolts)
it's hot and there's no air.
it's pretty cool.
pictures.
http://suu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2002711&l=f885b&id=177400459
Tomorrow, we (I) will be putting the skins on the frames.
it's going to look amazing.
I love working at the CAC.
Being there.
Eric is nice to me.
He tells me about stuff.
I like hearing about it.
In other news....
working for MCLA.
that's going ok.
I have to contact a lot of students I don't know.
So, if you are reading this, and you hear from me, that's why.
my hands ache from the damn caulking gun.
get to use to again tomorrow.
I think we're doing something with building mountains tomorrow.
New show this Sat. at Kolok Gallery.
PUSHING LIGHT.
go.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
none
I feel like something is going to happen.
I know that's really vague.
I hate that.
I'm on edge.
If some is going to happen, just.... happen.
Sometimes, my family knows me too well.
Other times, they know me hardly at all.
It's frustrating. But, I feel like, why fight it?
I used to care desperately.
I used to try so hard to make them understand me.
But they are wrapped up in their own lives.
and that's ok. I know that.
They have their own things to deal with.
Saving my breath is just easier.
It hurts, but this way, it hurts less.
I just need to focus on what I'm doing.
Or trying to do.
I know that's really vague.
I hate that.
I'm on edge.
If some is going to happen, just.... happen.
Sometimes, my family knows me too well.
Other times, they know me hardly at all.
It's frustrating. But, I feel like, why fight it?
I used to care desperately.
I used to try so hard to make them understand me.
But they are wrapped up in their own lives.
and that's ok. I know that.
They have their own things to deal with.
Saving my breath is just easier.
It hurts, but this way, it hurts less.
I just need to focus on what I'm doing.
Or trying to do.
Listen when I say,
When I say it's real.
Real life goes undefined,
Why must you be so missable?
Everything you take,
Makes me more unreal.
Real lines are undefined.
How can this be so miserable?
Listen I can't make.
Make a sound or feel.
Feel fine I kissed the lies,
Why must they be so kissable?
Listen as I break.
Break the fourth wall's seal.
Gorgeous eyes shine suicide
When will we be invisible?
Under the summer rain, I burnt away.
Under the summer rain (Burn!)
We find a way.
Under the summer rain, I burnt away.
Under the summer rain (Burn!)
You turned away.
This is the fall,
This is the long way down.
And our lives look smaller now,
And our lives look so small.
Willingly crying.
This is the fall,
This is the long way down.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Robots
So, the apathy has waned.
Blase has lifted, a little.
I'm glad.
I just signed on to work under Eric Rudd.
I'm going to be constructing robot skins
for his new installation piece.
It's going to be "wild," as he puts it.
I'm excited.
Something like this has never been done before.
To have the vision that man has! wow.
I'm amazed.
He gave me a tour of the CAC yesterday,
that place, I don't know, I have no words.
It's this mammoth thing that no one knows about.
Well, everyone knows it's there, but no one knows
what's actually inside.
Time forgot it.
I'm so glad I know, now.
I once had some art work shown there.
3 years ago.
But went away to college and never looked back
til now.
Now, I can't believe it!
I'm so lucky.
At the risk of sounding like a little girl.
Which I hate.
Yeah, that's about it.
But it's really not,
but I don't really have much else to say.
There's nothing to report.
It's infuriating, bc I wish there was.
Blase has lifted, a little.
I'm glad.
I just signed on to work under Eric Rudd.
I'm going to be constructing robot skins
for his new installation piece.
It's going to be "wild," as he puts it.
I'm excited.
Something like this has never been done before.
To have the vision that man has! wow.
I'm amazed.
He gave me a tour of the CAC yesterday,
that place, I don't know, I have no words.
It's this mammoth thing that no one knows about.
Well, everyone knows it's there, but no one knows
what's actually inside.
Time forgot it.
I'm so glad I know, now.
I once had some art work shown there.
3 years ago.
But went away to college and never looked back
til now.
Now, I can't believe it!
I'm so lucky.
At the risk of sounding like a little girl.
Which I hate.
Yeah, that's about it.
But it's really not,
but I don't really have much else to say.
There's nothing to report.
It's infuriating, bc I wish there was.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Over-bored and Self-assured
It's been awhile since I wrote.
Feeling apathetic.
Is it the time of the year?
Maybe.
Do I have a "that time of year"?
Kind of despondent.
It's bad.
It's muggy and hot out.
I feel sick and in pain.
I don't care about much at all.
And I'm acting like it.
It's showing, badly.
Consequently, things are not going well.
I'm being stupid.
People are constantly on my back.
Which only exacerbates the problem.
I need to be left alone.
Which is never going to happen.
I need my girl friends.
But it's so hard to connects with them.
Schedules, time differences, etc.
Am I going to come out of this... apathy?
I might.
If I do, who knows when.
And who knows what might, will happen until then.
I can't really stop.
I don't really know. anything.
It's kind of like I'm drunk. Only I'm not.
Not at all.
It's like that. That kind of bad.
See?
Feeling apathetic.
Is it the time of the year?
Maybe.
Do I have a "that time of year"?
Kind of despondent.
It's bad.
It's muggy and hot out.
I feel sick and in pain.
I don't care about much at all.
And I'm acting like it.
It's showing, badly.
Consequently, things are not going well.
I'm being stupid.
People are constantly on my back.
Which only exacerbates the problem.
I need to be left alone.
Which is never going to happen.
I need my girl friends.
But it's so hard to connects with them.
Schedules, time differences, etc.
Am I going to come out of this... apathy?
I might.
If I do, who knows when.
And who knows what might, will happen until then.
I can't really stop.
I don't really know. anything.
It's kind of like I'm drunk. Only I'm not.
Not at all.
It's like that. That kind of bad.
See?
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Celebrate with us as we begin our second year! In addition to new works by familiar artists, Second Coming with introduce you to some of our newly signed emerging artists from near and far.
Free drinks and hors d'oeuvres served.
Date: Saturday, May 26, 2007
Time: 5:30pm - 8:00pm
Location: Kolok Gallery
I worked really hard on this.
I didn't design the invitation, but the planning...
I spent 4 months on.
Everyone come to the opening!!!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
your lies still give me the heartache to continue.
The Ultimate Cover-Up
The Audition
Left alone, your voice once gave me the comfort to continue.
You're gutless and hopin' to run into hope
And this isn't getting any easier
They won't understand it
What you've hidden from them,
And this isn't getting any easier.
So is this what you wanted?
Too bad, it's what you got.
So should this be my farewell?
Once again, your lies still give me the heartache to continue.
It's been so long I can hardly remember
This is getting so much easier
They won't understand it,
What you've hidden from them
And this is getting so much easier
So is this what you wanted?
Too bad, it's what you got.
So should this be my farewell?
Come on, you know me too well.
The Audition
Left alone, your voice once gave me the comfort to continue.
You're gutless and hopin' to run into hope
And this isn't getting any easier
They won't understand it
What you've hidden from them,
And this isn't getting any easier.
So is this what you wanted?
Too bad, it's what you got.
So should this be my farewell?
Once again, your lies still give me the heartache to continue.
It's been so long I can hardly remember
This is getting so much easier
They won't understand it,
What you've hidden from them
And this is getting so much easier
So is this what you wanted?
Too bad, it's what you got.
So should this be my farewell?
Come on, you know me too well.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Men
Men.
When it comes to them, I am a 21-year old cynic.
I don't trust them. I don't need them, or want them very much.
I rather despise them, when it comes to letting them in.
Actually, I love men.
I love the attention, I love the challenge, I love their masculinity.
I need NCMO.
(look it up)
But that's as far as it goes.
I don't need them for anything but my own vanity.
I don't need them for yard work or fixing up the house, I can pay someone to do that or just do it myself.
I don't need them to have a baby, even, if I ever go crazy and decide to have one.
I think it's best to raise a child alone.
So many children grow up with daddy issues.
Obviously, I have.
I have a father and a stepfather who have seriously and
severely hurt me and let me down in their own, special way.
It still hurts.
But I won't bore you with the details, or rip open old wounds.
Who needs that?
Boyfriends, I've have good ones and bad ones.
Ones for the diary.
Ones for learning.
Ones that were not so nice.
Ones where I was not so nice.
Ones where we knew it was just for fun.
One that got away.
In the end, it was the best thing.
But... ruined my views.
I think I am going to be like Samantha.
I don't know if I want that.
But, it is what it is.
I don't ever want to get married.
Most marriages end in divorce. Almost all that I've seen, have.
I don't want to be one of those women.
I don't want to spend my whole life looking for love.
Chasing it.
I'm just going to live. Do what I want.
Being alone is not something that is scary.
I'd rather be alone than be hurt.
I think I am shooting myself in the foot with this blog.
No one will want to be with me after reading this.
But, oh well.
There's always someone.
The world is big.
When it comes to them, I am a 21-year old cynic.
I don't trust them. I don't need them, or want them very much.
I rather despise them, when it comes to letting them in.
Actually, I love men.
I love the attention, I love the challenge, I love their masculinity.
I need NCMO.
(look it up)
But that's as far as it goes.
I don't need them for anything but my own vanity.
I don't need them for yard work or fixing up the house, I can pay someone to do that or just do it myself.
I don't need them to have a baby, even, if I ever go crazy and decide to have one.
I think it's best to raise a child alone.
So many children grow up with daddy issues.
Obviously, I have.
I have a father and a stepfather who have seriously and
severely hurt me and let me down in their own, special way.
It still hurts.
But I won't bore you with the details, or rip open old wounds.
Who needs that?
Boyfriends, I've have good ones and bad ones.
Ones for the diary.
Ones for learning.
Ones that were not so nice.
Ones where I was not so nice.
Ones where we knew it was just for fun.
One that got away.
In the end, it was the best thing.
But... ruined my views.
I think I am going to be like Samantha.
I don't know if I want that.
But, it is what it is.
I don't ever want to get married.
Most marriages end in divorce. Almost all that I've seen, have.
I don't want to be one of those women.
I don't want to spend my whole life looking for love.
Chasing it.
I'm just going to live. Do what I want.
Being alone is not something that is scary.
I'd rather be alone than be hurt.
I think I am shooting myself in the foot with this blog.
No one will want to be with me after reading this.
But, oh well.
There's always someone.
The world is big.
Monday, May 07, 2007
recent media
I don't know about you, but I was glad when they sentenced Paris Hilton to jail.
Now, I hope they really make her go.
She deserves it.
She blatantly drove on a suspended license after being stopped twice.
didn't do the alcohol ed. program and whatever else.
she just partied and did whatever Paris Hilton does.
No regard for consequences, because she's "special."
until now, I guess.
She's complaining about "unfair treatment."
the only "unfair treatment" that's going on here is that she isn't getting the special treatment she's always gotten her whole life.
She's actually being treated like an average person.
What a crime.
Now, I hope they really make her go.
She deserves it.
She blatantly drove on a suspended license after being stopped twice.
didn't do the alcohol ed. program and whatever else.
she just partied and did whatever Paris Hilton does.
No regard for consequences, because she's "special."
until now, I guess.
She's complaining about "unfair treatment."
the only "unfair treatment" that's going on here is that she isn't getting the special treatment she's always gotten her whole life.
She's actually being treated like an average person.
What a crime.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
the future is cloudy
I have to write a 10 page paper on how to get the local community to buy $15,000 contemporary art. It's never going to happen.
The locals hate MASS MoCA, hate the arts community here.
they call us art fags.
and even if they didn't hate the artists here, they could never afford it.
but, it's my job t fill 10 pages on how to devise a plan to get them to do just that.
They see MASS MoCA as taking over their mill town and bringing in crazy outsiders. They fail to see the vision the newcomers have, the desire to revitalize.
The potential this crumbling, depressed town has.
It has already come such a long way. But, it's fought an uphill battle.
still sick with a violent cold.
such a bitch!
but, if I do say so myself, my paper is pretty good.
I know, though, Kurt will reject all my ideas.
Oh well. I mean, I'm not just throwing out crap. but, nothing I can do.
The future is cloudy.
It's... something I think about later.
The locals hate MASS MoCA, hate the arts community here.
they call us art fags.
and even if they didn't hate the artists here, they could never afford it.
but, it's my job t fill 10 pages on how to devise a plan to get them to do just that.
They see MASS MoCA as taking over their mill town and bringing in crazy outsiders. They fail to see the vision the newcomers have, the desire to revitalize.
The potential this crumbling, depressed town has.
It has already come such a long way. But, it's fought an uphill battle.
still sick with a violent cold.
such a bitch!
but, if I do say so myself, my paper is pretty good.
I know, though, Kurt will reject all my ideas.
Oh well. I mean, I'm not just throwing out crap. but, nothing I can do.
The future is cloudy.
It's... something I think about later.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
sick
I was supposed to go see My Chemical Romance tonight.
I've had the tickets for months.
I hate when bands become divas. really hate it.
They would have never have cancelled a 5th show bc of food poisoning 3 years ago.
I am also supposed to see Fall Out Boy on the 30th.
but Pete Wentz is also a diva. he has lost all credibility.
especially now that's he's dating that poseur Ashlee Simpson.
If they cancel that, I'll freak, bc I'm really going to see The Academy Is.
but, on a brighter note, I am going to the
Flyleaf/ Kill Hannah/ Sick Puppies show in a few weeks,
which will be way more awesome!!
Smaller show with better, less famous bands!
I am so excited, once again!!!
I have the worst cold ever.
It's miserable.
And I had to give a class presentation for my final today.
All done with school, for like a month.
Then summer courses.
And such.
I've had the tickets for months.
I hate when bands become divas. really hate it.
They would have never have cancelled a 5th show bc of food poisoning 3 years ago.
I am also supposed to see Fall Out Boy on the 30th.
but Pete Wentz is also a diva. he has lost all credibility.
especially now that's he's dating that poseur Ashlee Simpson.
If they cancel that, I'll freak, bc I'm really going to see The Academy Is.
but, on a brighter note, I am going to the
Flyleaf/ Kill Hannah/ Sick Puppies show in a few weeks,
which will be way more awesome!!
Smaller show with better, less famous bands!
I am so excited, once again!!!
I have the worst cold ever.
It's miserable.
And I had to give a class presentation for my final today.
All done with school, for like a month.
Then summer courses.
And such.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
DAMMIT
my ipod broke
I didn't get paid like I was supposed to
didn't get into the art show
I'm ugly
I was late today
DAMMIT
I didn't get paid like I was supposed to
didn't get into the art show
I'm ugly
I was late today
DAMMIT
Thursday, April 19, 2007
VT is still being victimized.
I am so angry.
WHY is the media, specifically NBC, airing and publishing that killer's plays and videos? They're doing exactly what he wanted.
It was his last dying wish.
The media has granted a mass murderer's last wish.
That is sick. Completely wrong.
But it's not just NBC. It's CNN, People, MSNBC.
We should be focusing on the victims.
Not the killer.
Of course, those videos are very important to investigators and police.
But, seriously. The public does not need to know.
I will never watch a video or read a play.
It chills me just to look at his photograph.
I avert my eyes.
Why is the media turning that man into someone famous?
Of course, he's infamous. But this is not right.
WHY is the media, specifically NBC, airing and publishing that killer's plays and videos? They're doing exactly what he wanted.
It was his last dying wish.
The media has granted a mass murderer's last wish.
That is sick. Completely wrong.
But it's not just NBC. It's CNN, People, MSNBC.
We should be focusing on the victims.
Not the killer.
Of course, those videos are very important to investigators and police.
But, seriously. The public does not need to know.
I will never watch a video or read a play.
It chills me just to look at his photograph.
I avert my eyes.
Why is the media turning that man into someone famous?
Of course, he's infamous. But this is not right.
Monday, April 16, 2007
twist the knife to bone.
I love Fuel. old school Fuel, not new, of course. Sunburn was their greatest album.
It's raining, at least it's not f'ing snowing again.
I had a good and very interesting weekend.
On Sat I went to the Mahaiwe to see The Great Tennessee Monkey Trial w. Ed Asner. It was good, but long and boring.
Went to dinner with Veronica and Rebecca after, a lovely little Indian restaurant in Gt. Barrington. Good conversation, good food.
I hope we can remain friends after the semester.
Mom and my little brother Matty are coming home from Calif. tonight, from my grandfather's funeral. So upset I couldn't go.
This week I have to submit my artwork to Gallery 51. I hope they accept it. like, I really hope.
Hair-straightner-stealing brother is gone for the week. Time for some precious and rare peace.
I'm worried.
about a lot of things.
I can't get my work done.
Ergh.
Yeah... I came here having a lot to say, and now I don't.
I bet you didn't know, but I'm really in a coma.
The real me is suspended, and there's nothing to do about it.
I know I should care, and I kind of do.
But not that much.
It'll take a jolt to the heart to wake me up.
"Bittersweet" - Fuel
Seven sins of wantonness and everything that's good is gone
Sell it all for glory from the peers
Silicone priestess scratch the back and twists the knife to bone
Kick against the pricks and scrape the shins
I'm the enemy in the enemies now
Swallowed the pill
Drank to the fill
All these things I carry now
In this bittersweet, in this bittersweet now
Try to hold the world there sinking, swimming in a paper cup
Try to own the one beneath the skin
Held up to the flame 'till singeing skin begins to draw and tuck
Never told there's a chance to win
What couldn't be, wouldn't be now
Hold your hands up to the sky and try so hard to rise above
But everything is beating down
It's raining, at least it's not f'ing snowing again.
I had a good and very interesting weekend.
On Sat I went to the Mahaiwe to see The Great Tennessee Monkey Trial w. Ed Asner. It was good, but long and boring.
Went to dinner with Veronica and Rebecca after, a lovely little Indian restaurant in Gt. Barrington. Good conversation, good food.
I hope we can remain friends after the semester.
Mom and my little brother Matty are coming home from Calif. tonight, from my grandfather's funeral. So upset I couldn't go.
This week I have to submit my artwork to Gallery 51. I hope they accept it. like, I really hope.
Hair-straightner-stealing brother is gone for the week. Time for some precious and rare peace.
I'm worried.
about a lot of things.
I can't get my work done.
Ergh.
Yeah... I came here having a lot to say, and now I don't.
I bet you didn't know, but I'm really in a coma.
The real me is suspended, and there's nothing to do about it.
I know I should care, and I kind of do.
But not that much.
It'll take a jolt to the heart to wake me up.
"Bittersweet" - Fuel
Seven sins of wantonness and everything that's good is gone
Sell it all for glory from the peers
Silicone priestess scratch the back and twists the knife to bone
Kick against the pricks and scrape the shins
I'm the enemy in the enemies now
Swallowed the pill
Drank to the fill
All these things I carry now
In this bittersweet, in this bittersweet now
Try to hold the world there sinking, swimming in a paper cup
Try to own the one beneath the skin
Held up to the flame 'till singeing skin begins to draw and tuck
Never told there's a chance to win
What couldn't be, wouldn't be now
Hold your hands up to the sky and try so hard to rise above
But everything is beating down
Thursday, April 12, 2007
so f-ing pissed
I am so mad right now I don't know what to do with myself.
It's APRIL and it's snowing outside. Not only is it snowing, it's sleeting. I hate that BS more than anything. Sleet is the one thing that infuriates me.
I am at work. I don't want to do it. There are troubles with the documents I'm trying to work on. It's not helping my mood, as fantastic as it was already.
I just want to go home. But there is no food in the house. I don't want to spend money to get anything, either. Food and eating is such an inconvenience.
My little brother is now using my hair straightener. This irks me on many levels for many reasons. For one, he is a complete ass to everyone in the family, me in particular because I won't swallow his bullsh-t. So we don't talk, and when we do, it's not good. But he has the gall to use something that belongs to me, so he can be a hipster poseur. I'm hiding my staightener. It's ridiculous that I have to do so. But, this is not going to fly. On top of all that, he looks ridiculous. I hate... no, I abhor hipsters, and despise poseurs.
Everything is such crap right now.
It's APRIL and it's snowing outside. Not only is it snowing, it's sleeting. I hate that BS more than anything. Sleet is the one thing that infuriates me.
I am at work. I don't want to do it. There are troubles with the documents I'm trying to work on. It's not helping my mood, as fantastic as it was already.
I just want to go home. But there is no food in the house. I don't want to spend money to get anything, either. Food and eating is such an inconvenience.
My little brother is now using my hair straightener. This irks me on many levels for many reasons. For one, he is a complete ass to everyone in the family, me in particular because I won't swallow his bullsh-t. So we don't talk, and when we do, it's not good. But he has the gall to use something that belongs to me, so he can be a hipster poseur. I'm hiding my staightener. It's ridiculous that I have to do so. But, this is not going to fly. On top of all that, he looks ridiculous. I hate... no, I abhor hipsters, and despise poseurs.
Everything is such crap right now.
Monday, April 09, 2007
It's spring and it's snowing. Yesterday was Easter. Give us a break.
I had a really odd day.
Tomorrow is going to be super busy... not really looking foward to it.
I need to get my ass in gear and finish my paintings and collages for the G51 show.
My stomach hurts and I want to cut it out of me. I think that would lead to more problems though.
Paaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnttttttttttttt. Come on. Do it. I have to. What's wrong with me?
It's like not taking your heart medication that you need to keep you alive.
I'm pretty messed up like that.
I really don't take my real medicine.
I had a really odd day.
Tomorrow is going to be super busy... not really looking foward to it.
I need to get my ass in gear and finish my paintings and collages for the G51 show.
My stomach hurts and I want to cut it out of me. I think that would lead to more problems though.
Paaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnttttttttttttt. Come on. Do it. I have to. What's wrong with me?
It's like not taking your heart medication that you need to keep you alive.
I'm pretty messed up like that.
I really don't take my real medicine.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
migrained
I have a headache, that's sort of self-induced... I am running out of antimigraine pills and have not called in for more. I have no refills so I need a new perscription... but my appointment w/ the dr. is Monday so I might as well just wait. But the thing is, if I miss just one day of taking my meds I get searing migraines, as a result. I am so dumb. to call , or to just wait til Monday?
aghhh.
I heart collage. (not college.)
I apparently have a new catch-phrase. "I heart ..... "
I also say, "let's be honest," and "p.s." Those I picked up from Rachelle and Amy, my AΦ sisters. I have no idea where "I heart ..... " came from. oh well.
turmoil, turmoil, in the home. I sing. it's not a happy sing.
I'm going on public access tv tomorrow. ick.
Maybe Saturday will be good?
aghhh.
I heart collage. (not college.)
I apparently have a new catch-phrase. "I heart ..... "
I also say, "let's be honest," and "p.s." Those I picked up from Rachelle and Amy, my AΦ sisters. I have no idea where "I heart ..... " came from. oh well.
turmoil, turmoil, in the home. I sing. it's not a happy sing.
I'm going on public access tv tomorrow. ick.
Maybe Saturday will be good?
First One
So..... first post.....
I gave my url the title "faking artist" because sometimes, I feel like I am one.
I really need to be working. but I can't!!
I don't know why I felt the need to create a blog. I don't know who's going to read this.
this shall be interesting.
Livejournal is so emo.
This is just the same. Only, artists do it. So I do it.
And I pretend.
At everything.
I gave my url the title "faking artist" because sometimes, I feel like I am one.
I really need to be working. but I can't!!
I don't know why I felt the need to create a blog. I don't know who's going to read this.
this shall be interesting.
Livejournal is so emo.
This is just the same. Only, artists do it. So I do it.
And I pretend.
At everything.
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