I'm a Fake

Look at me.
Can you tell,
By the way I move and do my hair?
Do you think that it's me,
Or is it not me?
I don't even care.
I'm alive, I don't smell.
I'm the cleanest I have ever been.

Do I drink?
Do I date?
I've got perfect placements.
All my ink satisfied,
In your eyes.
I'm the biggest fan that I've got right now.
I made sure that I look how I wanted to look.
The people around me,
The people surround me.

I feel big, I feel tall, I feel dry.
Dry.
Just look at me, look at me now.
I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm fake, I'm fake.

My stomach hurts now,
And all tied off in lace.
I pray, I beg, for anything to hit me in the face.
And this sickness isn't me.
I pray to fall from grace.
The last thing I see is feeling.

And I'm telling you I'm a fake.

be sorted @ nimbo.net

ummmmmmmm


why did I start this
I don't remember
but since I'm here

We got a new kitten
she's just adorable
but bops around like she's on crack




You know what?
WHY do people stare at me on the street?
people actually stick their heads out of the window for a better look.
What is wrong with me,
did I forget to put on a shirt or something?
:/

"I Think I'm Paranoid"

You can look, but you can't touch
I don't think I like you much
Heaven knows what a girl can do
Heaven knows what you've got to prove

I think I'm paranoid
And complicated
I think I'm paranoid
Manipulate it

Bend me, break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you
Bend me, break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you

I fall down just to give you a thrill
Prop me up with another pill
If I should fail, if I should fold
I nailed my faith to the sticking pole

I think I'm paranoid
Manipulate it
I think I'm paranoid
And complicated

Paranoid
I think I'm paranoid

Steal me, deal me, anyway you heal me
Maim me, tame me, you can never change me
Love me, like me, come ahead and fight me
Please me, tease me, go ahead and leave me

Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
As long as I want you baby it's all right

the new USED video!!!

omg....
Brilliant.

I heard this song is about Gerard Way.
What a burn.
I hate MCR too.






I wish I was in this video.



I'm sick in the head.

Death Of Seasons

"Death Of Seasons"
AFI

Of late, it's harder just to go outside
To leave this dead space with hatred, so alive
Writhing with sickness, thrown into banality, I decay
Killed by the weakness, but forced to return, turn it off

I watch the stars as they fall from the sky
I held a fallen star and it wept for me, dying
I feel the fallen stars encircle me, now as they cry

Out there so quickly grows malignant tribes
Posthuman extinction excels unrecognized
Feeling surrounded, so bored with mortality, I decay
All of this hatred is fucking real, turn it on... yeah

I watch the stars as they fall from the sky
I held a fallen star and it wept for me, dying
I feel the fallen stars encircle me, now as they cry

It won't be all right despite what they say
Just watch the stars tonight as they, as they disappear, disintegrate
And I disintegrate 'cause this hate is fucking real
And I hope to shade the world as stars go out and I disintegrate

wheel in the sky

I feel so off.
my hair is bad, though nothing is wrong.
my face is bad.
my whole body is wrong.

it is so wretched.


here are some pictures.


^the exhibition space in rough form. That's "Laydon I" in the front.




^My corner where I work now.




^Inside the Dark Ride.








^more Dark Ride. all sculptures by Eric Rudd.

denial

I smashed my hand yesterday.
well, it got smashed.
at Eric's, unloading one of the robot heads.

there's a bruise on top of the knuckle
and on the otherside, the underside, on my palm,
a matching bruise, that hurts like hell.

I don't think it's broken, bc I can move my fingers
but sometimes it cracks.
and the bruise on the top is black.
kinda.

guess we'll see.

it looks kinda cool.


so anyway, the robot part of the piece is finally running.
the physics boys attached it to the tail I've been working on for a month
and ran it around the space for about 45 minutes.

it was exciting.
of course we all saw more work that needed to be done
but it was progress!



going to NYC in about 10 days to visit some friends!
so excited.

evening

so.
I guess I started this with vaguely having something to say.

I forgot my headphones in my car
and the guy next to me
is waxing philosophic with customers
over the phone
again
and again
I can hardly take it.

I hate to be a bitch and tell him to shut up
yet again
but my head might crack open

Saturday was so nice
went out with the always lovely KK
dinner at a pretty good Mexican place
then saw Evening
that smart chick flick with
the all-star cast
it didn't live up to its full potential, sadly
but still was good.

I love Mondays.
obv. something is wrong with me.
but there's just something about
the promise and potential a full 7 days holds.

ok, I guess that was me
waxing philosophical?
at least you having the option
of clicking out of this if you hated it.

omg I had to work Sat for Eric
while he was hosting a large group of old ladies
from upper New Jersey on a museum tour.
it was a mess but they ended up loving him

one of the old ladies
kept grabbing my wrist and calling me
"Dear One" ha ha it was cute.

blah when can I run out to my car???

the smashing pumpkins

I just saw the video for the new Smashing Pumpkins single.
it was wretched.

I heard the single a few months ago
and it sounded like generic SP nothingness,
with Billy Corgan wailing on top of it.
ok, that's fine, whatever.... but the video completely killed
whatever indifference I had felt about it.
Now I hate it.

First of all, it's not the real Smashing Pumpkins anymore.
they broke up years ago.
It's just Billy, James and 2 random-ass people he picked up
off the street to fill in the empty spaces.

SP hasn't had a real hit in 10 years,
so stop trying.
Everyone is either shaking their heads in pity
or laughing at you.
Your music sucks, it's not the same.

Now, if you managed to get all 4 original band members
back together, that would be something.
But, that will probably never happen, so.... stop.

This whole thing is a waste.

<3

I love him.



him too.



I would die.

I found out what one of the ambulances was for.
a little boy at church like flipped his 4-wheeler
over on himself trying to avoid a car
while doing something stupid.
I'm glad he's not dead
he's really cute
he just has a broken arm
and a classic little-boy story to tell now.