I should be working.

oh man.

life is good, and not so good,
at the same time.
well life isn't great, but it's positive.

I'm really starting to enjoy working on the robot skins.

My business class is over.
So glad.

I originally started this post to bitch
but the optimist in me is taking over.
but, I do have a few bones to pick with the universe.

First off, for the past week, the town has been crawling
with cops and staties.
WTF>>>?
Is there a drug bust going on, or do they have nothing better to do?
Seriously, get on with it, whatever it is.

Also, in the same vein,
I have had to pull over about 8 times for ambulances.
What is going on?
Why are people getting hurt/sick all in the same week?
at the risk of sounding like a heartless bitch,
give it a rest.
take care of yourself.

And the last thing.
I was on my way to work this morning.
I stopped at the cafe for a chai and had to wait extra long
for a mother and her child in front of me.
that's annoying, but I can deal.
A mother simpering over her child... whatever.
but what got me was...
they were wearing matching khaki baseball caps
and practically the same outfit.
And she looked like she hadn't showered in about 4 days.
Come on people, just because you have a child,
it doesn't mean you get to/have to let yourself go!!!
I know my mother never went out of the house
looking like a scrub.
Neither did my grandmother.

Don't you watch all these American whitetrash makeover shows
that take 43 year old mothers that
"forget who they are bc they dedicated themselves to ther kids"
and they throw them in a spa
and then make them over
and give them a $5,000 new wardrobe????

Do you really want that to be you?
I mean, how humiliating!
the shows always show the "before and after" picture
where everyone knows that the "before" picture
is how you really looked for 15 years.

How hard is it to take a 5 minute shower to wash your hair?

I'm not a mom, but I do know a lot about it.
So, I do have a leg to stand on.

ok, rant over.

wow

I just found out something about one artist from another.
rather... as they say.... juicy.
I was surprised.

excellent opening reception Sat.

Pushing Light reception at Kolok Gallery was so, so good.
I finally met the three artists,
Lana Z Caplan, Garrison Beau Scott, and Tricia Zigmund.
It was fun.
They are nice. And they weren't Artistes.
you know, stuck on themselves. They were cool.
I mean, I didn't expect them to be, but you never know.
I've had lesser-known artists totally be rude and condescending to me.

talked to them for a while.
when Kurt introduced me, they were like,
"you did such a great job! the show looks wonderful!"
if I blushed, I would have.
I wasn't able to hang this show, so I was embarrassed.
but, I have been in contact with all of them for months
and done a lot of work other wise.
you know.
it was nice!!!

the show is hung so beautifully.
Kurt really has an eye.
If you haven't seen it, it's open til July 16.
You'll be glad you went.



having system errors at work.
ergh.

summer shudder

my gallery's having an opening tomorrow.
it'll be good.
photography can be lame.
but these photographers are really artists.


I forgot the summer wretchedness.
I don't really know what I think.
summer shudder.




started putting the skin on the robot frame.
looks cool.


Shot with Unknown Sensor.

I just want to drive.

I want someone that won't talk back
And a job, job that gives me slack
And a car, car that won't break down
In the heat of ...
I want to go, go without a map
Far away, away, I won't get trapped
By the sound, a town, the sun beats down
In the heat of ...

One more holiday
I will not celebrate
I'm almost desperate
Cause I'm down, I'm down, I'm so beat down

This city's killing me
I want, I want, I want everything
This city's killing me
In the heat of ...

"The Great Disappointment" AFI


I can remember a place I used to go
Chrysanthemums of white, they seemed so beautiful
I can remember, I searched for the amaranth
I'd shut my eyes... to see

Oh, how I smiled then, so near the cherished ones
I knew they would appear... saw not a single one
Oh, how I smiled then, waiting so patiently
I'd make a wish... and bleed

While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away

I can remember... dreamt them so vividly
Soft creatures draped in white, light kisses gracing me
I can remember when I first realized
Dreams were the only place to see them

While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away
Hope was wasting away
Faith was wasting away
I was wasting away

I never, never wanted this
I always wanted to believe
I never, never wanted this
How could I have become?
I never, never wanted this
But from the start I'd been deceived
I never, never wanted this
How could I have become?

I never, never wanted this
I always wanted to believe
I never, never wanted this
I never, never wanted this
But from the start I'd been deceived
I never, never wanted this

Inside a crumbling effigy
But you promised
So dies all innocence
But you promised me

While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away
Hope was wasting away
Faith was wasting away
I was wasting away

Robot Mansion

so I've been working w. Eric for a little while now.
making the skin for his robots.
it's hard.
it smell bad (silicone)
it hurts (cutting, screwing nuts and bolts)
it's hot and there's no air.

it's pretty cool.

pictures.
http://suu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2002711&l=f885b&id=177400459

Tomorrow, we (I) will be putting the skins on the frames.
it's going to look amazing.

I love working at the CAC.
Being there.

Eric is nice to me.
He tells me about stuff.
I like hearing about it.

In other news....

working for MCLA.
that's going ok.

I have to contact a lot of students I don't know.
So, if you are reading this, and you hear from me, that's why.

my hands ache from the damn caulking gun.
get to use to again tomorrow.

I think we're doing something with building mountains tomorrow.


New show this Sat. at Kolok Gallery.
PUSHING LIGHT.
go.

none

I feel like something is going to happen.
I know that's really vague.
I hate that.
I'm on edge.
If some is going to happen, just.... happen.


Sometimes, my family knows me too well.
Other times, they know me hardly at all.
It's frustrating. But, I feel like, why fight it?
I used to care desperately.
I used to try so hard to make them understand me.
But they are wrapped up in their own lives.
and that's ok. I know that.
They have their own things to deal with.
Saving my breath is just easier.
It hurts, but this way, it hurts less.
I just need to focus on what I'm doing.
Or trying to do.

Listen when I say,
When I say it's real.
Real life goes undefined,
Why must you be so missable?
Everything you take,
Makes me more unreal.
Real lines are undefined.
How can this be so miserable?


Listen I can't make.
Make a sound or feel.
Feel fine I kissed the lies,
Why must they be so kissable?


Listen as I break.
Break the fourth wall's seal.
Gorgeous eyes shine suicide
When will we be invisible?


Under the summer rain, I burnt away.
Under the summer rain (Burn!)
We find a way.
Under the summer rain, I burnt away.
Under the summer rain (Burn!)
You turned away.


This is the fall,
This is the long way down.
And our lives look smaller now,
And our lives look so small.
Willingly crying.

This is the fall,
This is the long way down.

Robots

So, the apathy has waned.
Blase has lifted, a little.
I'm glad.

I just signed on to work under Eric Rudd.
I'm going to be constructing robot skins
for his new installation piece.
It's going to be "wild," as he puts it.
I'm excited.
Something like this has never been done before.
To have the vision that man has! wow.
I'm amazed.

He gave me a tour of the CAC yesterday,
that place, I don't know, I have no words.
It's this mammoth thing that no one knows about.
Well, everyone knows it's there, but no one knows
what's actually inside.
Time forgot it.
I'm so glad I know, now.
I once had some art work shown there.
3 years ago.
But went away to college and never looked back
til now.
Now, I can't believe it!
I'm so lucky.
At the risk of sounding like a little girl.
Which I hate.

Yeah, that's about it.
But it's really not,
but I don't really have much else to say.
There's nothing to report.
It's infuriating, bc I wish there was.