Damone concert 04.23

DAMMIT

my ipod broke
I didn't get paid like I was supposed to
didn't get into the art show
I'm ugly
I was late today
DAMMIT

VT is still being victimized.

I am so angry.
WHY is the media, specifically NBC, airing and publishing that killer's plays and videos? They're doing exactly what he wanted.
It was his last dying wish.
The media has granted a mass murderer's last wish.
That is sick. Completely wrong.
But it's not just NBC. It's CNN, People, MSNBC.
We should be focusing on the victims.
Not the killer.
Of course, those videos are very important to investigators and police.
But, seriously. The public does not need to know.
I will never watch a video or read a play.
It chills me just to look at his photograph.
I avert my eyes.
Why is the media turning that man into someone famous?
Of course, he's infamous. But this is not right.

twist the knife to bone.

I love Fuel. old school Fuel, not new, of course. Sunburn was their greatest album.
It's raining, at least it's not f'ing snowing again.
I had a good and very interesting weekend.
On Sat I went to the Mahaiwe to see The Great Tennessee Monkey Trial w. Ed Asner. It was good, but long and boring.
Went to dinner with Veronica and Rebecca after, a lovely little Indian restaurant in Gt. Barrington. Good conversation, good food.
I hope we can remain friends after the semester.
Mom and my little brother Matty are coming home from Calif. tonight, from my grandfather's funeral. So upset I couldn't go.
This week I have to submit my artwork to Gallery 51. I hope they accept it. like, I really hope.
Hair-straightner-stealing brother is gone for the week. Time for some precious and rare peace.
I'm worried.
about a lot of things.
I can't get my work done.
Ergh.
Yeah... I came here having a lot to say, and now I don't.

I bet you didn't know, but I'm really in a coma.
The real me is suspended, and there's nothing to do about it.
I know I should care, and I kind of do.
But not that much.
It'll take a jolt to the heart to wake me up.

"Bittersweet" - Fuel
Seven sins of wantonness and everything that's good is gone
Sell it all for glory from the peers
Silicone priestess scratch the back and twists the knife to bone
Kick against the pricks and scrape the shins
I'm the enemy in the enemies now
Swallowed the pill
Drank to the fill
All these things I carry now
In this bittersweet, in this bittersweet now
Try to hold the world there sinking, swimming in a paper cup
Try to own the one beneath the skin
Held up to the flame 'till singeing skin begins to draw and tuck
Never told there's a chance to win
What couldn't be, wouldn't be now
Hold your hands up to the sky and try so hard to rise above
But everything is beating down

so f-ing pissed

I am so mad right now I don't know what to do with myself.
It's APRIL and it's snowing outside. Not only is it snowing, it's sleeting. I hate that BS more than anything. Sleet is the one thing that infuriates me.
I am at work. I don't want to do it. There are troubles with the documents I'm trying to work on. It's not helping my mood, as fantastic as it was already.
I just want to go home. But there is no food in the house. I don't want to spend money to get anything, either. Food and eating is such an inconvenience.
My little brother is now using my hair straightener. This irks me on many levels for many reasons. For one, he is a complete ass to everyone in the family, me in particular because I won't swallow his bullsh-t. So we don't talk, and when we do, it's not good. But he has the gall to use something that belongs to me, so he can be a hipster poseur. I'm hiding my staightener. It's ridiculous that I have to do so. But, this is not going to fly. On top of all that, he looks ridiculous. I hate... no, I abhor hipsters, and despise poseurs.
Everything is such crap right now.

It's spring and it's snowing. Yesterday was Easter. Give us a break.
I had a really odd day.
Tomorrow is going to be super busy... not really looking foward to it.
I need to get my ass in gear and finish my paintings and collages for the G51 show.
My stomach hurts and I want to cut it out of me. I think that would lead to more problems though.
Paaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnttttttttttttt. Come on. Do it. I have to. What's wrong with me?
It's like not taking your heart medication that you need to keep you alive.
I'm pretty messed up like that.
I really don't take my real medicine.

migrained

I have a headache, that's sort of self-induced... I am running out of antimigraine pills and have not called in for more. I have no refills so I need a new perscription... but my appointment w/ the dr. is Monday so I might as well just wait. But the thing is, if I miss just one day of taking my meds I get searing migraines, as a result. I am so dumb. to call , or to just wait til Monday?

aghhh.

I heart collage. (not college.)

I apparently have a new catch-phrase. "I heart ..... "

I also say, "let's be honest," and "p.s." Those I picked up from Rachelle and Amy, my AΦ sisters. I have no idea where "I heart ..... " came from. oh well.

turmoil, turmoil, in the home. I sing. it's not a happy sing.

I'm going on public access tv tomorrow. ick.

Maybe Saturday will be good?

First One

So..... first post.....

I gave my url the title "faking artist" because sometimes, I feel like I am one.
I really need to be working. but I can't!!
I don't know why I felt the need to create a blog. I don't know who's going to read this.
this shall be interesting.
Livejournal is so emo.
This is just the same. Only, artists do it. So I do it.
And I pretend.
At everything.