Men

Men.
When it comes to them, I am a 21-year old cynic.
I don't trust them. I don't need them, or want them very much.
I rather despise them, when it comes to letting them in.

Actually, I love men.
I love the attention, I love the challenge, I love their masculinity.
I need NCMO.
(look it up)
But that's as far as it goes.
I don't need them for anything but my own vanity.
I don't need them for yard work or fixing up the house, I can pay someone to do that or just do it myself.
I don't need them to have a baby, even, if I ever go crazy and decide to have one.
I think it's best to raise a child alone.
So many children grow up with daddy issues.

Obviously, I have.
I have a father and a stepfather who have seriously and
severely hurt me and let me down in their own, special way.
It still hurts.
But I won't bore you with the details, or rip open old wounds.
Who needs that?

Boyfriends, I've have good ones and bad ones.
Ones for the diary.
Ones for learning.
Ones that were not so nice.
Ones where I was not so nice.
Ones where we knew it was just for fun.
One that got away.
In the end, it was the best thing.
But... ruined my views.

I think I am going to be like Samantha.
I don't know if I want that.
But, it is what it is.
I don't ever want to get married.
Most marriages end in divorce. Almost all that I've seen, have.
I don't want to be one of those women.
I don't want to spend my whole life looking for love.
Chasing it.
I'm just going to live. Do what I want.
Being alone is not something that is scary.
I'd rather be alone than be hurt.

I think I am shooting myself in the foot with this blog.
No one will want to be with me after reading this.
But, oh well.

There's always someone.
The world is big.