sirens

sirens make me really upset.
they make me really uncomfortable and tense.
I think I stop breathing for the 20 seconds I hear them.

I work downtown. Both my jobs are downtown, right by the police station, and the fire station.
So, I hear sirens all the time, sometimes several times a day.

I hate it.

But I can't get away.

Why do they bother me so much?
I think it's because of when my mother's husband attacked us in October. I called 911 repeatedly, and they couldn't hear me because the connection was so bad, and the call kept dropping. And then when the people finally did get the point, police took 15 minutes to get to my house. 15 minutes. I was listening for the sirens from where I was hiding and they weren't coming. I could have been dead by then.

Now, my chest gets tight everytime I hear them.

When I lived in Phoenix, my sister and I used to joke that a day couldn't go by without at least a real siren. Now I wish it would.